The love stops here

So, for the past few weeks I haven't bothered to come on here and blog. Shoot me if you're all really so pissed off about it, but since no one actually reads this, I didn't think anyone would actually give a flying fuck. I met a boy at GAB early in March, or I guess it was late February if I want to not be a liar about the whole thing. In case you're new here, GAB is the gay youth group I attend Friday nights with Aysia. He's... I guess he's a lot like me actually. He's smart and witty and in general he's quick with his mind, and better yet he likes curling and can talk politics with me without making it sound stupid and ridiculous. We spent a few nights together. Nothing serious of course; we did fireworks for the last day of the Olympics, and we see each other at GAB every week. He even drove me home one night after everyone else was gone...I don't think I'm going to forget that for a long time, the walk to his car, the drive home, the cuddling in my bed.
As usual though, this isn't meant to be, so you readers (whoever you may be, save for my commenters who reveal themselves) will have to deal with me once again bemoaning my fate, or what appears to be my fate at the current stretch of my life. At least this time, he knows and understands how I feel and hasn't pushed me away. We talked about it, because like me, he's mature enough to have that kind of conversation, so we talked about him, about me, about us, even about relationships and why he didn't think it would work out. And I accepted it. I didn't like his reasons, I even pushed back against the ones I felt weren't true, but I didn't do anything that I normally would; I actually tried to make this work in a mature way.
That was a few weeks ago. We both decided to just stay friends of course, and we're even actually doing just that, we still go to social events together and have fun in social settings together.
He's now trying, with much success, to get back together with his old ex boyfriend. I stood by him when he didn't think it would work out and I told him that he would get the boy back. Now that its happened, I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel. I honestly do want to feel happy for him, because he does deserve to be happy. I just...is it selfish to wish that he'd fail at love so that he'd finally notice me and the fact that I do like him, even with his supposed failings? I hate it. He tells me everything about what they're doing, and right this minute he's getting ready to ditch me to be with this guy. Its a last minute thing, he says to me. I want to understand, I even *should* understand, considering my own past and my ability to drop everything at the beck and call of a boy I like. I want that boy to be me. I think, deep down, I know it won't ever be, and I can't stand it because I have to see him all the time and wonder why not me, and he makes us spend time together and does the stupid little things to make me want to be with him. I just want him to see me the way I see him, is that really so bad, considering that ever since we met, I've done everything I can to make things right for him...?